Do you believe its better to put other people first and put yourself last?
Think deeply and go beyond what your logical mind is saying.
Have you realised that putting other people first is not the best strategy for your growth and happiness?
Have you realised that even though its awesome to give to others and great pleasure is derived from giving, that you cannot give from an empty cup and you need to put you first in order to really give to others?
So what caused you to believe that it is better to put yourself last?
What was your Original Sensitising Event? I had two.
As a kid I did not get the attention and recognition that I wanted. As kids we develop certain coping mechanisms and beliefs in order to 'survive' what is going on with us. I (and I have found many other people) as a kid decided that one sure way of being loved and getting the attention that I wanted was to put others first and focus on doing things that I thought would make them happy.
Putting others first in order to get love and recognition is one of the behaviours a lot of people have adopted.
It may have worked for a little while in childhood but it certainly does not serve us in adulthood.
Where did you learn to put others first? Was it in your religious institution? Were you told that god loves people who give?
Again, don't get me wrong, it is important to give but not to give at your personal expense.
The second place I learned to put others first was when I was a scout. Part of the scout's promise is to 'put others before myself'. So I grew up thinking it was better to put other people before myself. That may have not been the intention of the promise but this is how I (and many others) processed it.
Anything coming to mind on where you got your belief that it is better to put others first?
Do you think that belief has affected your current life in terms of relationships, finances, career growth, spirituality etc.?
You will NEVER get to your full potential if you keep putting others first and there is NO spiritual brownie points for putting yourself last.
Putting others needs before mine has certainly affected my own growth over the years. I did not realise this until I started learning about coaching and coaching others via a special technique that gets to the Root Cause of what is holding us back from success, happiness and fulfilment. This technique has helped most (if not all) my clients and we have put it into an easily accessible online version that is 97% cheaper than doing one on one coaching. It's called Path To Freedom and you can get it here.
Putting other people first/putting yourself last can be very subtle or very bold. In one of my relationships we had two soup bowls from a set that we would usually use whenever we made soup. One of the bowls had a chip on it and when ever I served the soup I would always give myself the bowl with the chip on it. After my realisation that I had this limiting behaviour of putting myself last and not giving myself the best, it became very apparent that me giving myself the bowl with the chip was just one of the many acts of putting others first/putting myself last. My simple solution was to use another bowl without a chip :)
I could identify so many other occasions in my career, financial matters, relationships etc. that I put myself last.
Are you really happy with putting yourself last and has it served you? Maybe your answer is yes but it has served you in surviving but won't help you in THRIVING.
Its Time To Commit To You
Putting yourself first has to become a non-negotiable if you are to really reach your highest potential in all areas of your life.
It is not selfish to put yourself first. The thing that you have been searching for most in the world in your inner essence, your SELF.
That's right, what you have been missing in your life is YOU.
You are the common denominator in every event you have experienced in your life and to have different experiences in life,
Simple and Critical Step in Putting Your First
One of the simplest (simplest but not easiest) and most effective ways to put yourself first is to set boundaries, healthy boundaries.
Are there persons and things you know you need to say NO to? I am sure you do.
To begin the process, make two lists:
Concepts and exercises like these are critical to you reaching your highest potential in all areas of your life. These and other powerful exercises are include in our most powerful transformational program so far called Path to Freedom. You can begin your transformation with this program.
To Your Freedom - emotional, financial, mental.....
Shane Ram is an Executive and Life Coach, HR Consultant, author and a sought after global keynote speaker. He is the CEO and Founder of Go For 10, a company that provides transformational education for all ages, through mediums that range from digital publishing, educational technology, online learning, content, events and more. We stand for ideas that enable people to be extraordinary and impact lives. www.igofor10.com Shane works with CEOs, corporations, 6-7 Figure business owners and entrepreneurs to increase revenue, grow their businesses and live more fulfilling lives.
Shane's strikingly effective coaching process shows individuals and corporate teams how to create the personal lives they want while becoming a megastar at work. To book a time to speak with Shane go to https://meetme.so/shaneram. To book Shane for events and seminars go to www.shaneram.com or www.stepadvisors.net, call 1-868-351-5000 or email at [email protected]
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